Here are some more translations into English, just to show that people can be as funny as computers.
TO PIŠE AMERIČAN; KI ŽIVI V SLOVENIJI...
35 Facts About Slovenes
1. Slivovica cures everything from a stomachache to paper cuts.
2. You are well acquainted with "sarma" (cabbage rolls)
3. You eat everything with "ajvar" (eggplant spread)
4. Your profanity consists of Croatian and Serbian phrases because Slovenija is too pure to have swear words.
5. There is nothing gross about blood sausages (krvavice ).
6. Drinking with your parents is normal.
7. Your relatives, especially in Slovenija, do not believe in opening the car windows on a sweltering hot day because of " prepih" (drafts).
8. When outside of Slovenia, you fight an irresistible urge to kiss the person you've just shaken hands with.
9. You're not allowed to leave the house with damp hair because you're going to become
bolan(a) (sick).
10. You have to wear copate (slippers) around the house, even if you have carpeting and it is 95 degrees outside.
11. Your family makes their own vino, medica, or Slivovica.
12. You never got to sleep in on Saturday because you had Slovenska Sola (Slovenian School)
13. Mami is always making you eat.
14. You know how to dance polka and you're proud of it.
15. Someone in your family can play buttonbox or accordion and is always bothering you to learn.
16. You'll still drink Cockta to please your family in Slovenija even though it makes you sick to your stomach (their version of Coca-Cola)
17. English verbs are acceptable if used with the ending "-ati", which makes them Slovenian: "play-ati", "study-ati", "clean-ati", or the best one "walk-ati" - pronounced: vakati!
18. At the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your
friends for folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances.
19. Your parents were at the party where you first got drunk and maybe even offered you a drink.
20. Then they waited until the ride home to beat the crap out of you for getting drunk and embarrassing them.
21. The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they
aren't your relatives; because you refer to their parents as " teta" and "stric". (aunt and uncle)
21. "Kuhovnice" (wooden spoons) are not only used for stirring when cooking… they are also used by mami to beat you when there is no "Siba" (stick) handy..
22. At least once you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "Ja! Samo probaj…" (just try!)
23. Lunch on Sundays has more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
24. Your 13 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikan'c or Irishman.
25. You love "Golaz", (beef stew) but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarrassed if someone asked you what it was.
26. Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
27. All other action stops when you hear people speaking Croatian or Serbian somewhere.
28. You smell garlic or alcohol on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the pew in church on Sunday mornings.
29. You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from mami or ati when growing up.
30. You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland for a minimum of 4 weeks.
31. Your relatives alone can populate a small city.
32. You've worked in the "Stale" (barn) at your relatives house in Slovenia and the cow smell didn't even bother you.
33. (left blank)
34. You think mixing Coke and red wine (bambus) is an extremely tasty drink.
35. You're still laughing your ritka off because you know every single one of these are true.
.
crne ili bijele, a na kraju sve isto !? NOVOSTI IZ DOPOLNJENE IZDAJE SSKJ: (slovarja slovenskega knjižnega jezika);
po Toporišič u - dodatni poopravki
AVTOŠTOP - merjenje hitrosti avtomobila s štoparico BUTELJKA - butelj ženskega spola
BULDOŽER -žival, ki žre buldoge
DROG - droga moškega spola
FILOZOF - tovarniški delavec na oddelku za polnjenje zof .
GOLOTA - gol nogometaąa po imenu Oto
GORETI - živeti v stilu gore
GRAFIKA - veda o grafih
JEZA - ženski jez
KOMAR - tisti, ki med prostim časom pada v komo KOZAREC - prebivalec Kozare
KRAVATA- točno določena krava (KRAVA, TA)
KRIŽATI - reševati križanko
KROMPIR - pivo iz kroma (Cr), kromatsko pivo
KRETEN - prebivalec Krete
KROŽNIK - objekt, ki kroži. Luna je primer krožnika, saj je naravni satelit,
ki kroži okoli Zemlje
MARKANTNOST - veda o nemški denarni valuti - marki (DEM)
MEDVED - strokovnjak za med, glej tudi VSEVED
MINISTER - tisti, ki nastavlja mine.
MOČERAD - tisti, ki ima rad moč. Zaradi izgovorjave je dodan samoglasnik
'e'. Tako nastane iz močrad - močerad.
NADREJENI - tisti, ki so bolj rejeni od rejenih
NALIVNO PERO - pero s katerim se nalivamo
NASLONITI SE - poistovetiti se s slonom
PALAČINKE - prebivalke palač
PESNIK - zaboj za shranjevanje pese; primer: "Napolnili smo že dva in pol pesnika."
PIČKA - majhna pizza (vulgarno)
PLEMENITOST - pripadnost nekemu plemenu
PODJETNIK - ujetnik,ki spi pod jetnikom (zapornikom)
POGODBA - dodatki ob koncu koncerta; glej tudi BIS
POSLANEC - oseba, ki je posoljena
POVODEC - objekt, ki plava na vodi
PRAZNIK - del naprave za praznenje, praznilka
PRODAJALEC - zelo dober, izkušen (profesionalen) dajalec
RIBEZ - tisti, ki beza (lovi) ribe.
ROJSTVO - veda o obnašanju znotraj različnih rojev (roj čebel, kobilic...)
SADIZEM - sinonim za sajenje
SAMORASTNIK - v prenesenem pomenu človek, ki hitro raste, npr. "Glej ga, samo raste!" SANKCIJA - družabna igra s sankami
SEKIRA - priprava za sekiranje
SOKOVNIK - tisti, ki pomaga kovati, kuje z nami ali pa je kovačev asistent
ŠVICAR - tisti, ki švica, se zelo poti
TOČKA - manjša toča
TOČAJKA - čajanka s točo
TURIZEM - veda o turih
VULKANIZER - človek, ki hipnotizira vulkane
ZAPELJIVEC - tisti, ki prevaža osebe ali pa nas na hitro nekam zapelje (iz ang. taxist)
ZASLON - stepska žival, ki se neprenehoma skriva za slonom
ZRAČNICA - zračnik ženskega spola
Živel je moški, ki je vedno zelo lepo skrbel za svojo postavo. Vsak dan je pretekel 10 km, potem je dvigal uteži, se razgibaval, šel v savno in se na koncu šel sončit na plažo.
Nekega dne, ko se je spet vase zagledano občudoval v ogledalu, je naenkrat opazil, da je zelo lepo porjavel, le da je njegov glavni ponos povsem bel. Zato je naslednji dan odšel na plažo, se zakopal v pesek in zunaj pustil samo svojega "ta malega".
Čez nekaj časa prideta mimo dve stari gospe, zagledata "čudno" stvar, ki se vzpenja iz mivke in ena otožno zavzdihne: "Ko sem bila 20 sem bila radovedna glede tega, ko sem bila 30, sem uživala v tem, ko pa sem bila 40, sem spraševala za to. Ko sem bila 50, sem plačevala za to, ko sem bila 60 sem molila za to, in ko sem bila 70, sem pozabila na to! Zdaj, ko pa sem 80, pa te preklete stvari divje rastejo naokrog, jaz pa še počepniti ne morem!"
Kraševec, Ljubljančan in Štajerc na skupnem sprehodu slučajno brcnejo v neko svetilko in iz nje se prikaže duh: Hvala, ker ste me osvobodili! Za nagrado bom vsakemu izpolnil eno željo.
Kraševec: "Jaz sem iz kmečke družine in dobro vem, kako težko je biti kmet, še posebej na Krasu. Naredi, da bo Kras vedno rodoviten."
Duh: "Urejeno!"
Ljubljančan: "Mi u Lublan mamo poun kufr usega folka, k se prseljuje k nam. Nared okol Lublane en tak zid, de noben nau mogu not ne vn!"
Duh: "Urejeno!"
Štajerec: "Čuj, kaki je te toti zid?"
Duh: "Visok je približno 100m, 5m debel, iz armiranega betona, gladke stene... "
Štajerec: "Dobro, dobro... Daj, napolni ga zaj z vodo!"
Plavajte, plavajte žabice!!!!
Italjan naroči natakarici: "Tu ti tu rum tu tu."
Natakarica: "Ja ja, tra la la, hopsasa..."
Italijan: "Please, tu ti tu rum tu tu."
Natakarica: "Ja ja, je že v redu."
Italjan (že precej besno): "Please, tu ti tu rum tu tu!"
Končno natakarica dojame: "Ah ja, two tea to room 22!!!"
14 policajev je opravljalo izpit.Eno izmed vprašanj se je glasilo: "Napiši, kateri je najhitrejši avto na svetu!" Pa napiše prvi policaj: "Jaguar." Drugi policaj ne ve, kaj bi napisal, pa pogleda k prvemu, a ne vidi dobro, pa napiše: "Januar." Tretji pa si reče: "Da ne bom imel kot ostala dva, bom pa napisal Februar. In res gre tako vse do trinajstega, ki napiše "December". Zadnji policaj,ki mu ni ostalo nobenega meseca več, pa malo razmisli in zapiše:
"SREČNO NOVO LETO!!!"
V srednji šoli profesorica napoveduje zadnji preizkus znanja v šolskem letu:
"Nihče ne sme manjkati! Ni opravičila, razen za težje bolezni ali
smrti v ožji družini."
Seveda se vedno najde kakšen pametnjakovič v zadnji klopi:
"Kaj pa v primeru seksualne izčrpanosti?".
Smeh v razredu.
Profesorica mrtvo hladno:"Boš pa z drugo roko pisal."
Tanja je všečkal/a forumski zapis Kaj ste danes uporabile za osnovno nego obraza? II. del.
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